A teaser promo written by beer_good_foamy and read by Kim from Upside Down and Halfway to Happyland.
Our tag announcer is the wonderful Tanner from Radio X Network
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The other day as I tried for the thousandth time to get my part just right without the aid of a mirror, I realized that I missed a few things in the fine print of the brochure before I was turned.
Oh sure, being among the undead can be cool. That whole lack-of-a-conscience thing is a huge time saver. I don’t worry about having eleven items in the ten-items-or-less line at Walmart anymore.
And tax deductions? You name it, I’ve claimed it.
Sometimes I even take two newspapers from the dispenser although though I’ve only paid for one. How evil is that?
You’d think that having no soul would be pretty cool, too. The upside? No guilt, no worries about eternity. The downside? I don’t enjoy blues music anymore.
Which is sort of the point. If there actually was a glossy, three-fold “So You Want to Live Forever” brochure, it probably wouldn’t mention the things you have to give up.
Take mirrors, for instance. What’s a fashion conscious vampire to do? Did you ever think of that?
When I go to Men’s Warehouse I have to pick a suit off the rack, try it on in the dressing room, and then buy it without alterations. If I tried to get it tailored, they’d make me stand in front of a mirror while they measured and marked. When the nice sales guy found himself staring at his own ugly mug instead of my backside, he’d probably guess something was up. Who would have guessed that the cost of immortality would include unhemmed cuffs and off-the-rack fashions?
And don’t get me started on carnival funhouses. No reflection means I look exactly the same in all of the mirrors.
The inability to go into a residence uninvited is a huge pain. Gaining access means standing on the stoop and begging or wheedling and conniving to get in. It’s like an endless game of “Mother May I” or maybe a nightmare career as a door-to-door salesman.
Ding-dong, eternity calling!
I’ve had more doors slammed in my face than a Mormon Missionary working in the Bible Belt.
It doesn’t help that do all of my knocking after dark.
Which is another thing that bugs me about having turned. An awful lot of the really cool stuff only happens in full daylight. When was the last time the Macy’s people held their parade after sundown? Covering up is always an option, but if you’re accidentally exposed you’re suddenly more useful for roasting marshmallows than waving at floats.
Mardi Gras is still an option, but most of the folks there are just too weird.
For major pain-in-the-afterlife, though, nothing beats the problems associated with feeding. Mortals have it so easy. There’s a restaurant or grocery store on every corner. No wonder they’re all so fat, there’s food everywhere! It’s a wonder the average weight of mortals isn’t somewhere north of a half ton.
For us revenants, feeding involves finding a ready source of blood. Any handy mammal will do, but that’s the vampire equivalent of a salad. It’s filling, but not satisfying. Taking a human — especially a young and healthy human — is fine dining.
In fact, some enterprising member of the Turned should give thought to opening a Revenant Restaurant. Maybe a place with a classy name like Chez Pierre. (Slogan: A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Wolfram and Hart!)
Reservations could be taken nightly and the menu would include lighter fare such college co-eds along with meatier dishes like boxers and bikers. If you got tired of waiting, you could always take a bite or two of the maitre de.
But, of course, since we’re all so busy competing with each other the odds are that nobody will open the restaurant anytime soon. I’ve heard, though, that Toronto has a rockin’ night club called Raven. Maybe I’ll give that a try.
A teaser promo spoof of the Short Cummings by the podcast’s host Kevin Cummings.
Kevin Cummings also appears as vamp!self.
Our tag announcer is the wonderful Tanner from Radio X Network
Full text of this podcast is available here.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
We’re doing an open voice-casting call for Buffy Between the Lines Season 2!
For your convenience, we have put together this FAQ. Please feel free to direct any other questions to betweenthelinesauditions@gmail.com
Who is eligible to audition?
ANYONE! We would love to have a large applicant pool to select from. We have a really wide range of roles available, and need lots of different kinds of voices to work with.
Will I be paid for my efforts?
This is strictly a non-profit labor of love. No one is being paid or earning money from the production of this audio drama.
Why do I need to fill out an application?
Different actors may want to participate in different capacities. The application helps us to determine what kind of commitment you are interested in making to this project and honoring that. It also informs you of your responsibilities should you be cast.
What is the crew application for? I just want to act!
We are building a community and we want the actors to be a part of it, having a part in other aspects of the production helps everyone be invested and involved. We hope everyone feels as passionately about this project as we do. We also need people to help in a variety of roles. We are asking all actors to fill some sort of crew position for this.
Some of the crew positions are more demanding than others. We recommend the street team to people who have a limited amount of time to devote. This position requires only that you occasionally promote the podcast in places you frequent on the internet (you are given assignments on how to go about this). There is no limit to the number of street team members. If you would like to be more involved, there are several other options. Check out the details for these positions here.
Where should I send in my applications?
Follow the directions at the bottom of the application in question.
When should I send in my applications?
Feel free to send in the crew application ASAP, we will be checking to be sure all actors have done so before final casting. Please send in the acting application along with your sound file, as per the directions on the Dialog page.
What software/equipment do I need to audition?
In order to audition, you will need some sort of microphone and some recording software. Radio Shack has cheap USB microphones and Audacity is free recording software. For tips and tricks using this program try here.
We will need you to have the best possible microphone; a poor quality sound file may limit our ability to cast you. For some suggestions on inexpensive but quality microphones, please check here.
It also makes a difference where you do your recording. Some suggestions on how to record a quality file can be found here.
What should I record for my audition?
Who are some of these characters?
We do have a few original characters we need to cast for this show. Just check the top of the dialog page and you will find more details about the characters.
I’m not interested in any of these roles, but I want to act. What should I do?
Just pick one of the roles and do your best. We have so many parts available; we just put a sample of what we are in need of here. We have a few surprises in store, so you never know what we are looking for. You may just have that sound we are waiting to find!
Where do I send my audition piece?
betweenthelinesauditions@gmail.com
What happens if I am not selected for the part I auditioned for?
Unfortunately, not everyone will have the chance to play the part they audition for. During casting, we likely will ask you to record for another part if we feel you might be suited for that role, or we may assign you to another role altogether. We are hopeful that everyone who would like a role will get one. We have many, many parts to cast that are not listed here.
Can I audition for more than one part?
Please do! We are happy to consider you for many parts!
When do I need to get my recording to you?
We need all submissions emailed to us by March 21st at the latest. No auditions will be considered after March 21st.
When will I find out if I got a part?
This time we are doing things a little differently. We will be accepting submissions for two weeks only, and then the following two weeks we will review them and request follow up pieces as needed. By the end of that time frame, we will be releasing the cast list.
I am a fantastic singer/rapper/screamer/horseback rider/squirrel trainer, should I tell you about it?
Please do! There is a section on the acting application for just those sorts of talents. We have been known to be a bit daring and willing to try some crazy things. Anything you feel like you may have to offer will help us to know what kinds of things might be possible. In some cases we may even be requesting examples of these talents (oh except the squirrel thing, squirrels are evil and have no souls).
When and how much recording will I be doing?
It will depend on you, but once cast, we may ask you to fill additional roles as needed for things like mini episodes, feedback episodes, and commentaries. Most of your recording will be done independently, but occasionally we will ask you to participate in a group recording (all remotely). For this season, we anticipate doing all of our recording from May of 2008 to January of 2009. We will do our best to communicate additional needs in advance and we are often understanding and able to work with any time you may be unavailable.
Additionally, some of the roles available may be used in future productions of Between the Lines Studios. We hope to retain the actors for these roles in future seasons.
I am not terribly interested in playing a part in this audio drama, but I heard you are doing Angel and Firefly? How do I get into those casts?
Our current plan is to do Angel Between the Lines following this season of Buffy Between the Lines and Firefly Between the Lines after that. You are welcome to check back with us when we cast for those productions. Just keep an eye on this site for details. However, we would like to suggest to any hopefuls for those productions that it is to your benefit to become a part of the team now so we know you are dependable and able to work well with us.
Street Team members are give super easy assignments and Prizes will be awarded (icons, personalized fanfic, etc) and will go to the winners of specific challenges, any member of the street team that completes each challenge within the due date wins audio cds of the complete show!
To join you need a (free) LiveJournal account.
Sign up here:
http://community.livejournal.com/bbtl_streamteam/
